There’s No Crying In Basketball?
What The Heat’s Tears Say About Masculinity & Emotion
by Jamilah Lemieux
I don’t follow sports much, but my beau is a hoops fanatic. I decided that, better than to be a ‘basketball widow’ this season, I might as well learn to appreciate the game and watch along with him from time to time. Between him, his friends and the interesting folks that I follow on Twitter, I’ve heard a lot about Miami Heat player Chris Bosh. More than people speak about his abilities on the court, they mention his tendency to cry after games and his recent remarks about the importance of “man hugs”. I don’t think you need two guesses to figure out what kind of response that’s gotten him from the young brothers out here.
Le sigh.
I understand that the idea of a grown man crying publicly and advocating for man-on-man affectionate touch makes many people uncomfortable, but I think that’s sad. Men–Black men in particular–aren’t typically granted the space to be emotional or affectionate. They aren’t allowed to express their feelings in the ways that women are. How many times have you heard even very young boys told to stop crying and “man up”? In a particularly tragic incident last year, a Long Island man beat his 17-month old son to death in a failed attempt to get him to ‘toughen up’.
I’ve often heard activist and writer Kevin Powell discuss the misnomer that men simply aren’t as emotional as women; since they aren’t given the freedom to cry or speak at length about their feelings, they often times express them through yelling or violence. I’m inclined to agree. While I do understand that there may be some inherent differences between the sexes (and no universal pattern of behavior that defines either of them), it seems apparent that we dehumanizing our men with the expectation that they remain ‘hard’ at all times.
Read the Full Essay @ Clutch Magazine
What The Heat’s Tears Say About Masculinity & Emotion
by Jamilah Lemieux
I don’t follow sports much, but my beau is a hoops fanatic. I decided that, better than to be a ‘basketball widow’ this season, I might as well learn to appreciate the game and watch along with him from time to time. Between him, his friends and the interesting folks that I follow on Twitter, I’ve heard a lot about Miami Heat player Chris Bosh. More than people speak about his abilities on the court, they mention his tendency to cry after games and his recent remarks about the importance of “man hugs”. I don’t think you need two guesses to figure out what kind of response that’s gotten him from the young brothers out here.
Le sigh.
I understand that the idea of a grown man crying publicly and advocating for man-on-man affectionate touch makes many people uncomfortable, but I think that’s sad. Men–Black men in particular–aren’t typically granted the space to be emotional or affectionate. They aren’t allowed to express their feelings in the ways that women are. How many times have you heard even very young boys told to stop crying and “man up”? In a particularly tragic incident last year, a Long Island man beat his 17-month old son to death in a failed attempt to get him to ‘toughen up’.
I’ve often heard activist and writer Kevin Powell discuss the misnomer that men simply aren’t as emotional as women; since they aren’t given the freedom to cry or speak at length about their feelings, they often times express them through yelling or violence. I’m inclined to agree. While I do understand that there may be some inherent differences between the sexes (and no universal pattern of behavior that defines either of them), it seems apparent that we dehumanizing our men with the expectation that they remain ‘hard’ at all times.
Read the Full Essay @ Clutch Magazine
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